I do pretty much everything fast. It’s part of my (ahem) charm. But speed is different from urgency. And urgency is the enemy of discernment.
Urgency is a push, internal or external, that says “this cannot wait.” It believes that another minute (or hour or day or year) will cause the downfall of civilization as we know it. Urgency says if you don’t do this NOW, then it’s over.
Of course, it doesn’t really define over for you. The consequences of urgency are always a bit vague. But it is absolutely clear that waiting another second will cause all.the.things to go wrong.
Urgency is Everywhere
The thing is, we are deeply motivated by urgency. So it fills our lives.
Marketers know this. I am still trying to figure how to manage the marketing realities of writing and publishing without hating myself. But one of the standard suggestions is to give people a deadline. A short deadline.
Buy today before the price goes up! Don’t miss out! Download before you go! Only two more days and then this deal is gone forever. Last chance!
Sound familiar? Of course it does. Commercials, pop-ups, email campaigns, Facebook ads—they all reel us in on the language of urgency.
FOMO or Just Fear?
In the world of marketing or social media, particularly, urgency is often connected to FOMO–the fear of missing out.
But we aren’t always afraid of missing out. Sometimes, we’re just afraid. In life, urgency motivates us because we’re afraid of being late, of disappointing someone, or of losing control.
Of course, urgency doesn’t know any of that specifically. Urgency cannot tailor itself to our particular concerns. But it doesn’t have to. When urgency prompts us, we fill in the thing we’re most afraid of. And then we’re hooked.
Because that fear motivates us to move at urgency’s speed and recklessness to avoid what we fear at all costs.
The Enemy of Discernment
But speed and recklessness are not helpful if the discerning life is our goal. That’s why urgency is the enemy of discernment.
If someone is pushing you for a decision, a move, a whatever, they are actually trying to keep you from thinking discerningly. They want you to rush the process. And they’re hoping you’ll miss the logic potholes and misinformation they can only hide by rushing you by them.
To live a discerning life, you have to actively fight the pull of the urgent.
The truth is, there is no need to make any decision immediately. The expiring coupon isn’t really the end of the world. And the tendency to rush into things often gets us into deep trouble.
There is very little harm, usually, that comes from waiting—another five minutes, another day, another season. Yes, you’ll miss out on a deal sometimes, but there’s likely to be another one next weekend. It’s possible that you’ll have to wait a whole semester to pick up the class you didn’t register for but that is typically inconvenient, more than world-stopping. You’ll still graduate, it’ll just be a semester later.
It’s far better to have thought through your decision and have to revise your plan than to urgently throw yourself into the ocean only to discover the promised ship isn’t there to meet you.
The craters we dig for ourselves out of urgency are usually much, much worse than those that result from thinking something through first.
Avoiding Urgency
Urgency is the enemy of discernment. So how do we avoid its pull? We don’t, actually.
It’s impossible. The urgent will always be there, nudging us forward. But that’s why discernment is so important. Because the whole point of discernment is to recognize the lies that we’d otherwise buy into.
And recognizing urgency is a powerful piece of that process.
Listen for those who are refusing to let you breathe or think. If they want you to act right now, they are suspect. You are not required to move at someone else’s whim. But you have to choose not to be pushed along.
You have to pay attention to their words–words like immediately, before it’s too late, now, and last chance. You have to pinpoint what fear their urgency is fueling for you. And you have to choose to take a breath, dig in your heels, and refuse to move until you have had time to think it through.
In the end, it’s okay to buy the thing or join the discussion or submit your email address. Of course it is. But discernment lets you do it on your terms, not theirs.
Fear and urgency are not wise counselors. Discernment is. As much as you can, choose the considered path, instead of the urgent one.
